Death Den
'"Death Den" '''is the fourth episode of ''Insinuation, the eighth season, and the 145th episode overall. It was told and narrated by Mets, premiering on March 20, 2015. In the episode, Ophelia's confession brings hell to the house of God. The Episode CHURCH OF ST. JOHN PAUL II Father Kelly sat in the confession booth. The woman, Ophelia, started talking almost instantly. "I've been doing some pretty nasty things," she said, "And a lot of meddling. Lots of meddling. But I can't say it's my fault, now can I?" "Meddling in what?" Father Kelly said. "Wait. I'll get to that." Father Kelly leaned back and sighed. "It all started at my 40th birthday..." Ophelia launched into the longest anecdote in human history. Father Kelly tried to interject to get her to confess what she actually needed to confess, but she wouldn't stop talking. "Ophelia..." Father Kelly said. "...but then Alizay tried to tell me that I wasn't good enough for politics. And I was like...um...what?" "Ophelia!" Father Kelly said more sternly. "And then I turned 42..." "Ophelia!" Father Kelly said, leaning forward and staring into the confession window. It was a violation of priestly rules, but he had been sitting in the box for nearly twenty minutes now! "Ophelia I..." Father Kelly stared. Ophelia wasn't in the box. She had left a recording device. He was talking to a recording. He opened the booth and looked around the Church. His eyes fell on the basement door. He began to hyperventilate. Someone had opened the door to his death den. Father Kelly quickly ran downstairs. Ophelia was not here. The two bodies were where he had left them. Everything was undisturbed. So...where did Ophelia go? Father Kelly returned to the main hall. The confession booth was open and the recording device was gone. Close call, Father Kelly thought to himself. He vowed to dispose of the bodies tonight to avoid a future dilemma. SAWYER GULCH SQUARE Outside the Church, Ophelia twirled a golden cross around her thumb. It was remarkably heavy for such a small symbol, but then again...it was the contents of the cross that concerned her. She entered her shop. OPHELIA'S SHOP Ophelia set the cross on the counter and got a hammer. She smashed it over the base. She then pried off the top, revealing a hollow interior. Three ounces of cocaine were nested carefully in the crossroads. She smiled and stuck the cross in her purse. SILAS'S HOUSE "Thank you, Ophelia," Silas said, taking the cocaine. He signed an arrest warrant. "My pleasure," Ophelia said, "That should be the only thing in the Church you should be worrying about." "Wonderful," Silas said. He reached into his pocket and removed several hundred dollar bills and handed them to Ophelia. She counted carefully. "Thank you!" Ophelia said, heading for the door. "Your services are always appreciated," Silas said. He disposed of the cocaine. Outside the house, Ophelia paused. While the Father was distracted, he had looked toward the basement. Any Sherlock Holmes fan knew that when someone thought there was danger, they would look toward the thing they loved, or needed to protect, most. Father Kelly had glanced at the basement. What was down there...? "Oliver," the Sheriff said, handing his Deputy an arrest warrant, "Go to the Church and make the arrest. Do it quietly; don't alert the press. Or Sabrina." Deputy Oliver Winthrop obeyed and left the house. But he slammed into Sabrina. Instantly. "Not so stealthy anymore, are you?" Oliver said, picking up her camera. She didn't say thank you. "Just trying to get the latest scoop," she said. Oliver lifted his eyebrows. "You sure you weren't trying to get back together?" Sabrina stared. "Excuse you?" Oliver coughed loudly. "Nevermind." There was a long pause. "I have a lawyer from another town finalizing the divorce settlement," Sabrina said. Oliver nodded. "Good." Another long pause. "You going to tell me anything exciting?" Sabrina said, "About anything?" "Isobel has fallen ill," Oliver said, "Want to turn that into a media circus?" Sabrina jotted down on a notepad "Sheriff's wife ill." "Thanks Ollie," she said, flashing a fake smile and strutting toward the Square. Oliver sighed and walked in the other direction, toward the Church of St. John Paul II. =LAW OFFICE "Hey Bryce!" Sabrina said, going over to her boyfriend's desk. He smiled as she approached. "Hey!" he said, "You want to get lunch?" "I'm starving," she said, "Let's go." The two kissed and Bryce got his coat. Sabrina didn't notice Christie sneaking out the back window. CHURCH OF ST. JOHN PAUL II Father Kelly was praying silently at the altar when the doors to the Church were thrown open. Deputy Oliver Winthrop led two other policemen down the aisle to the Father. "God save my soul," Father Kelly whispered. "Father," Oliver said with a smirk, "We have come to make an arrest." Father Kelly swallowed. His eyes darted quickly to the basement door, ajar and unlocked. A search was all it took... Oliver unrolled an arrest warrant. "On order of the Sheriff on behalf of the township of Sawyer Gulch in Gulch County, we hereby have come to arrest John Cahill." Father Kelly blinked. His clergyman? "I'm sorry?" Father Kelly said, "John?" "Yes," Oliver said, "Three ounces of cocaine were located in his possessions." "Oh," Father Kelly said, "By all means, he's in the chapel..." Oliver and his men entered another room. Father Kelly ran across the room and locked the basement door. He slumped to the ground and thanked God. SHERIFF'S HOUSE Natalie brought her friend, Christie, up to her room. "You two have to be more careful," Natalie said, "What if Sabrina sees you with Bryce?" Christie shrugged. "He's going to leave her anyway. Bryce says I'm way better sex." Natalie laughed. "Men." "What about you?" Christie said, "Any special someone?" Natalie groaned. "I have Oliver Winthrop." Christie gagged. "THE DEPUTY?!" "So gross, right?" Natalie said, "I wanted the lawyer. But he got himself killed." Christie dropped her jaw. "You liked Austin?" she said, smiling broadly. "He was super hot," Natalie said, "He looked at me too. You know. In that way..." "Oh my God!" Christie said, cackling, "That is so tragic!" Landon closed the door to Isobel's room. She was getting some sleep. He put his stethoscope back in his bag. He heard Natalie talking in her room. But then he heard Austin's name. He paused for only a moment. And he heard everything. LANDON'S APARTMENT "Hey," Landon said to Austin, who was sitting on the couch, "Guess what I heard at the Sheriff's house?" "What?" Austin said, closing his book. "Natalie Sterling," Landon said with a sly smile, "thought you were hot." Austin laughed, trying to make it sound sincere. "So maybe when all this is over and your attempted Killer is caught, the two of you could be friends." "I'd like to be more than friends..." Austin said before he could stop himself. Landon dropped his bag. "Don't say that, Austin," Landon said, "You're still married to Katherine. Be a loyal husband." Austin nodded and apologized. But Austin couldn't stop thinking about Natalie. He was married. He was loyal. He loved his wife. But he needed Natalie. He needed her. And he was going to get her. Tonight. Production Continuity and Story Arcs Austin vows to act on his lust for Natalie in this episode. It will be realized in "Shadows." Isobel's illness is first mentioned in this episode. The working relationship between Ophelia and Silas is first explored. She finds illegal substances for him to warrant arrests. References Ophelia references the Sherlock Holmes story "A Scandal in Bohemia." In the story, Holmes discovers the location of a prized possesion of one Irene Adler by staging a fake fire; she looked toward a safe in panic, revealing its location. Trivia *Viewership doubled this episode from last episode. At the height of the ratings, they had tripled. *Ophelia said the Sheriff had nothing to worry about in the Church, unknown that there are dead people in the basement. Category:Insinuation Episodes Category:Episodes